"Growing Up"

I had my first surgery right after I started my freshman year at Rutgers in the Fall of 1974.  Went back to school the following Fall.  It was really difficult being physically and mentally so far behind everyone in my high school graduating class.  Now, on top of that, they were all a year ahead of me in school.  I try and not have any regrets for anything I have or have not done in my life, but looking back now, I kind of wish I was mentally tougher than I was at that time.  After 2 1/2 semesters in school, I quit.  I think I just wanted to change everything about my life and kind of start over.

I got a job working as a clerk for New Jersey Bell  ( which eventually became Bell Atlantic and is now Verizon).  As far as the Crohns was concerned, I constantly suffered from symptoms (mainly diarrhea) with some good days and a lot of bad days.  As anyone that suffers from any form of IBD can attest, one of the keys to life is knowing where every bathroom is located in as many towns as possible and which one was the closest based on where you were at that moment.  Another key is to mentally be able to deal with the fact that, at times, none will be close enough.

In life, I was doing relatively well.  Within a period of 3 years, I was promoted twice at NJ Bell and also had my first relationship.  I met Sonia at a company Christmas Party in 1978.  Her sister and I worked together and she brought Sonia as her guest.  Sonia lived and worked in Manhattan.  About 6 months after our relationship started she moved out of her apartment in NYC and moved into her sisters home (next town over from me) in her basement.  About 6 months after that, we moved into a 1 bedroom apartment in Avenel, N.J.  Sonia was 2 years older than I was, which, made her about 10 years mentally older than me.  We were on and off over the next few years, more off than on.  By that time, I was 25 and still very much a kid.  Around that same time, most of my friends from school were married, some of them already had kids of their own.  My next relationship would lead to marriage.  I met Angela in the Fall of 1983 (I was a month shy of turning 27).  We were friends for about 6 months before it became a relationship.  We were mentally in the same place.  She was 19 and living at home with her parents and 2 sisters.  She was ready to move to the next step in life and I was determined not to get left behind yet again and thought I was also ready for that next step.  We were married in March of 1985.  I learned at that time how much stress can affect Crohns Disease in a negative way.  I got really sick in the months leading up to our wedding.  I was always pretty thin and probably lost close to 20 lbs. in those last few months.  Thankfully, the Crohns went into remission almost immediately after we were married.  Two years later, our lives changed in an amazing, beautiful way.  Our daughter Jill was born.  I had finally caught up...